Details: The Ceremony

The ceremony was short and sweet. The Reverend Kelly Burt performed the ceremony on Saturday, November 17, 2007 at 4PM on the beach gazebo in Oceanside, CA near the pier. Daryl made some last minute changes to the text and Kelly did a great job including them. As, I mentioned before, the light and the temperature were just right. I selected ‘The Chairman’s Waltz’ from the ‘Memoirs of a Geisha’ soundtrack for the wedding processional music. Santos did an excellent job DJ-ing on our new little portable sound system. The song is a little eerie with an Asian undercurrent. We didn’t really rehearse, so the wedding coordinator let us know when the music was playing. Beth led first and negotiated the stairs like a pro. Phoenix was then escorted down the center isle by my sister Erica. But, no one saw it since they were still looking back at the stairs. Oops. My bad. The heart shaped ring pillow Phoenix wore is actually the ring pillow Victoria helped me make for my Mom’s wedding. We converted it to a backpack and were pleasantly surprised when the pillow looked like angel’s wings as Phoenix pranced around the apartment. I felt like it was good luck to incorporate a memento from her wedding since she has had such a blissful run with Jim. I followed chanting to myself, “don’t stumble on the stairs, don’t stumble…” Dad looked so handsome in his double-breasted suit as he met me at the bottom, hugged me deeply, kissed my cheek, said some special things and escorted me to the front. Once he hugged me, all my concerns of tripping, crying, or suffering some dress malfunction slipped away and I was in the moment.

As Carl videod the exchange of vows as the sun set in everyone’s eyes, I enjoyed the moment as much as I could. I made a conscious effort to look over the guests. I thought I would be nervous, but I was very content. Daryl suggested we ask Mom to say something to the guests in Vietnamese. She did a wonderful job improvising a beautiful greeting and said a prayer in her native language. I never thought Vietnamese sounded so eloquent as it did that day. She looked gorgeous in her beautiful ao yai in deep purple velvet. She also thanked all the guests for traveling to be with us, which was a thoughtful touch. I’m looking forward to seeing the video of that to recall what she said. But, Daryl and I were touched when on a recent visit, Jim could recount her speech almost word for word. My Dad joked he should get the chance to say a Spanish and Arabic prayer. But, if I had let both my Mom and Dad speak, you all know I would have had to pay the Reverend extra dough for the Extended Ceremony package!

You may have noticed a bizarre range of accessories adorning my person. Each piece had a special significance to me. Starting with the jewelry, the large bracelet was borrowed from Victoria after I asked her to rustle up some chunky silver and turquoise jewelry. Boy, did she deliver. The turquoise and silver is a nod to my New Mexico heritage. The necklace was made by her mother. She informed me after the wedding that the necklace was her mother’s gift to me! The turquoise earrings were hand made by my friend Laura who could not make the wedding and just celebrated her own marriage recently. I wore a turquoise and silver ring given to me by my Grandmother. And, of course, I wore my beautiful princess cut white gold engagement ring. I was trying to capture a Jean Harlowe type retro glamour look as Julie and I discovered after our day of dress shopping.

I found my dress online at a vintage reproduction boutique. It was actually my backup dress. I had another dress that Mom, Victoria and I attempted to alter when I remembered I had this dress in the closet. I had written it off because it was too tight when it originally arrived and I thought it might be too flashy for a beach ceremony with heavy beading, satin fabric and rhinestone accents. But, when I came out, Victoria and Mom practically passed out using words like “goddess” and “statuesque.” I was sold. At 5’-1” tall, any dress that can make me look statuesque will be my choice. I was aiming for the essence of the 30’s look, without looking too costume. But, I have to say when I look at the pictures, everything came together and exceeded my expectations. The drama of the dress and accessories and the scale of the bouquet were just fine in the vast scale of the beauty of the beach. To complete the look, I added what is referred to as a birdcage veil. They wanted to charge me $40 in the bridal shops for it. I found the parts to make it for less than $3. To heighten the drama, I accented the veil with a vintage brooch, freshwater pearls and some bleached peacock feathers. The feathers also tied into my bouquet. The bouquets were made by Daryl’s Mom, Donna. We used yellow mums and large sunflowers. I asked her to incorporate regular peacock feathers into Beth’s bouquet to bring out the color in her dress. And, I thought it would be nice for my bouquet to be long and tall, which is also a reference to Vietnam. She finished off the bouquets with long strands of colorful ribbons. I also gave her a bunch of brooches to select from to finish off the base of the bouquets. I think they both came out wonderfully and I got to enjoy them for the rest of the week as both flowers were exceptionally hearty. I added a little cherub pin my Grandmother sent me to one of the ribbons for good luck. I originally had super bling shoes on for the photographs, but opted for the more reliable basic satin shoes for the actual ceremony. And, I enlisted Ryan again to do my hair. She generously took the time to not only do my hair, but to touch up several other people’s hair while we waited. Victoria wore a shell necklace I made. And I caught Donna in the Jade earrings I had presented to her. If I do say so myself, she looked wonderful in them. I don’t know why I really enjoyed seeing all the Mom’s wearing their jade jewelry. I guess I just assumed the items would be tucked away somewhere in a drawer. But to see them on made me feel very special.

We had a lot of fun waiting for the ceremony to begin and had all the warmth of a gossiping beauty salon. It was all girls, with the exception of our Photographer (and now friend) Patrick. He got some wonderful unique shots that I will reveal at a later date.

The lace overcoat I wore was a concept idea I had to take all the vintage laces I had collected over the years and quilt them into a superb overcoat. The project got cut back quite a bit with grand ideas of hand stitching, beaded accents and long train. But, Lisa helped me really nail down a vision when she visited a month prior and Mom took over the assembly when she arrived. As time ran short, my expectations for the jacket really lowered. But, when I finally saw the photographs, I thought it looked like a million dollars. Mom did an incredible job finessing my original concept and altering it to fit my body and still compliment the dress underneath. And, functionally, it did add that extra bit of warmth to take the chill off as the sun disappeared. It was divine. I wore it the following day, to keep the festivities alive. That day, nephew Brett came up to me. I thought he said, “I really like your dress.” I beamed and replied, “Thank you Brett. So sweet.” Then he corrected me, “No, I said YOU really like your dress!” It was hilarious and true!

Daryl designed the men’s look. They had a last minute pants problem with the Groom and Best Man. Daryl and John went to Macy’s that morning to remedy the problem. Luckily, Macy’s was having a sale and John had the presence of mind to ask for a corrected receipt on all the items purchased the previous week. I didn’t know this, but many stores have a standing policy that they will refund you the difference if you buy something that later goes on sale. At Macy’s, it’s something like a 15 day window. We ended up getting a big hunk of change back which was a nice surprise. Daryl bought matching jackets and matching ties. Mom converted one of the men’s ties to fit little Phoenix. Ryan gave Phoenix his dapper do after he protested his Mohawk with a vehement Dapper Don’t!

Finally, we exchanged our white gold shiny bands and Reverend Kelly introduced us as we walked towards the gazebo as Mr & Mrs Wells where Phoenix waited with outstretched arms. I grabbed my same name baby and we bathed in the bubbles blown by our fans and soaked in the sunset. What a perfect moment. And, to think I ALMOST vetoed the bubbles!