This was the dark horse event. Everyone who attended told me it was the favorite part of the weekend. As most of you know, my Mom is Vietnamese. So, I asked her if she would incorporate some traditions from the Vietnamese wedding ceremony. She suggested adding a tea ceremony. Traditionally, it occurs on the morning of the wedding, but we decided to have it prior to the rehearsal dinner. At the ceremony, my Mom explained the purpose and some of the history of the ceremony. She also described the story of the decorative fruit on the table. The story says there was a couple deeply in love, but were not allowed to be together because they were from different economic backgrounds. But, when they died, they were buried side by side and on one grave grew a fruit and on the other a vine. As they grew, they intertwined. Legend has it wherever you find the fruit, you will find the vine. I'm the fruit. Definitely.
Daryl and I presented our new in-laws with a cup of either tea or sake and thanked them for inviting us into their family and then bowed our heads. If they accept us, then they drink. Luckily, all the parents drank! Ken and Jim particularly enjoyed every drop of their sake (see pics). Then they had an opportunity to say how they feel. There were a lot of happy tears. Traditionally, at this point, they would present the bride with gold and jade jewelry symbolizing respectively good luck and good health. But, I didn’t feel it was appropriate to ask my future in-laws to bedazzle me in jewelry, especially after giving us so much and extending themselves to be there. So, we reversed the tradition and I found baubles to give them, which I really enjoyed. I presented Donna with some jade dangle earrings and Marion with a traditional circular jade pendant. Daryl surprised me by presenting my Mom with a sterling pendant in the shape pf a stylized Phoenix. My Mom surprised me by giving me several pieces she’d been saving for me: A jade necklace, bracelet and earrings!
I’m so glad I asked Mom to put this together. She looked beautiful in a turquoise dress she actually borrowed from me. I was wearing a traditional Chinese Wedding outfit my Mom had custom made. I gave her my measurements a couple of months ago, so it was nice to try it on and have it be too big! Mom did some last minute alterations to get it fitting just so. There was an outer jacket with hand painted dragons and flaming suns. The inside was a lavender dress with hot pink accents. On the pink panels, there is a phoenix at the top and a dragon below. The fabric crown you see in the pictures is a tradition that goes back a long way. Mom’s not sure of the symbolism, but I can’t help but think of a crown for a princess. Ryan did my hair and it complimented the crown perfectly. The girls also stayed for the ceremony to help out with the babies. Victoria and Aku attended and volunteered to photograph the event. It’s also traditional for me to have my best friend their, so I asked Beth and Eric to join us.
At the last minute, Mom informed everyone of the tradition of gifting the bride with money. Everyone wanted to try it, but no one was prepared for this, so they all rustled up some one dollar bills and stuffed them into my sleeve. It was pretty funny.
The Tea Ceremony was such a nice addition and kickoff to the weekend’s events, I feel like it should be part of every wedding. It was so touching, Daryl and I almost felt like we were already married after that ceremony. But, there was so much more to come!
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