Wedding Summary

I'm posting blogs detailing each event during our wedding weekend extravaganza mostly for my own record, but this article is intended as a review of the whole event. It was really incredibly perfect. The weather had been particularly foggy and cold the week before and I became concerned about keeping everyone warm during the outdoor reception. But, just as everyone began to arrive at the end of the week, the fog lifted and the air warmed. The sun glowed right on cue during the exchange of vows. As Daryl and I reflected on the weekend over our honeymoon drive, we marveled at the fact that every person who made the trek to join us contributed in making it a memorable event. It was a wonderful balance between festive and intimate. And, so many of you conveyed not only how much you enjoyed coming, but how the ceremony suited us and reflected us as a couple. I described it to Daryl's sister, Lisa over the phone after everything had quieted down. Giving birth to Phoenix last year was special in it's depth of intimacy surrounded by those I love. But, the wedding has been like a wave of warmth crashing over us and overwhelming us in the best way. I surprised myself by tearing up all weekend being moved by so many thoughtful gestures from every direction. I thought I might get weepy during the ceremony, but I had no idea I would be ambushed with love throughout the week and found myself tearing up repeatedly, which is out of character for me. I apologize for sounding so sappy, but if you can’t get a little sappy over your wedding day, it’s never going to happen.

I wanted to create several opportunities for people to join us in addition to the ceremony itself so we might have a chance to catch up during more informal gatherings. Some of the events included the Tea Ceremony and Rehearsal Dinner Friday, the Ceremony and Reception on Saturday and a Rolling Breakfast Sunday. Each event had it’s own personality. I’ll go into lots of detail in each event blog to capture the memories fully so I can savor it just a little longer. We had a chance to spend a little time with everyone and it seemed everyone got along like old friends. People traveled from as far as Washington, DC, some driving from as far as Phoenix and San Francisco. Some left new babies at home, some came with new babies or a car full of kids. All made sacrifices to be with us. Friends from college, high school and even childhood came and I felt like I walked into an episode of This is Your Life. Mom & Victoria came out an entire week early to help me plan. Several ex-brides advised me I try to enjoy the ceremony and reception as it will go by fast. I remember during the ceremony avoiding eye contact with Daryl to help me control my tears. I cannot recall our eyes engaged like that ever unless it was an exchange of love in reference to Phoenix so it certainly overwhelmed me. The words of advice came to mind at that moment and I really tried to take in the Reverend’s words and feel the wind and see the color of the light from the setting sun. I remember someone kicking a ball into the air at that moment in the background on the beach and I thought how special this moment would be, marked in my memory. But, just in case, here it is in writing!

During the Rehearsal Dinner and again at the Sister’s Breakfast, I posed the question, “What is it that one can promise forever before God and peers to solidify a relationship?” We hadn’t yet reviewed the ceremony text and I became concerned that I might be promising something that I did not mean! I became fixated on the thought that there was no single word someone could promise and keep throughout the lifespan of a marriage. The promise had to have flexibility built in to it, not to abuse and eek out of a tight corners, but to grow and change as the couple and the circumstances of the couple might grow and change. I didn’t even feel it was appropriate to promise to Love because love seems the result of other things and not something to be controlled directly. In talking it over, some of the common words were communication, respect and consideration. And, it seems to make sense to promise to put your partner’s needs and wants before your own. But, even that, I started thinking of lots of loopholes. But, it is certainly a good place to start. I’ve never believed the word “compromise” is part of a good relationship because it implies both people are making sacrifices and are somewhat unhappy. I believe there are clever solutions to any given situation and through communication and understanding, a result that is not only mutually tolerable, but mutually beneficial can result. That might not be true, but that is what I believe and that is always how Daryl and I have approached problems, like we do design problems. The results always end up better than either of us could achieve individually. After pondering my question for several days, I think I could promise to strive to always Ask, Listen and Answer and ask the same of him. The act of asking shows caring, listening shows respect and answering shows understanding. And all three insure communication. But, it’s in the questions that Daryl asks of me and the answers that he gives that I have found my love for him. So, I suppose I could promise to do those three little things. And, I promise to extend those signs of caring, respect and understanding to those that are important to Daryl, too.

So, now I stand on the precipice of Happily Ever After and I wonder nervously what comes next because I’m the sort that scoffs at the tidy endings to romantic movies. I suppose I know enough to know it’s not tidy and it’s not an ending. And, I also know it’s not more of the same. Something’s changed. And, I don’t know what that means. I wonder if we say something thoughtless or disrespectful to one another, is that how things are now? Of course not. Just as the Honeymoon only lasts a few days. But, I sense myself releasing a broader range of feelings. Maybe that’s why the tears flowed this weekend. I feel a little emotionally unbound. Now, we belong to one another and I feel the burden and responsibility of holding our future mutually. It is both safe and scary in new ways. And, just as I have taken each preceding step with Daryl, I look forward with giddy anticipation at this next joint venture.

I meant for this blog article to be a little more factual about the events of the weekend, but I guess as it stands it is a record of where my thoughts are right now and it feels right to post it as is. So much more to write, people to thank. I’ll save that for the detailed event blogs. But, for now, know we feel lucky, blessed and loved by one another and all of you! Photos and more detailed articles to follow!