Photos of Wedding

The photos are starting to come in. My Dad has volunteered to consolidate the photos. If you have some, I'd appreciate if you send him your raw images. If you send some, he'll send you back a DVD. You can send them to:

Toby Younis
1057 Wildcat Hollow Road
Boyce, Virginia 22620

You can also send me the link to your photos if you upload them somewhere and I can post them here.

Here's the link to Dad's beautiful photos:
http://picasaweb.google.com/tyounis/SeanAndDarylSWeddingDay

I'll be posting Victoria's later today.

Wedding Summary

I'm posting blogs detailing each event during our wedding weekend extravaganza mostly for my own record, but this article is intended as a review of the whole event. It was really incredibly perfect. The weather had been particularly foggy and cold the week before and I became concerned about keeping everyone warm during the outdoor reception. But, just as everyone began to arrive at the end of the week, the fog lifted and the air warmed. The sun glowed right on cue during the exchange of vows. As Daryl and I reflected on the weekend over our honeymoon drive, we marveled at the fact that every person who made the trek to join us contributed in making it a memorable event. It was a wonderful balance between festive and intimate. And, so many of you conveyed not only how much you enjoyed coming, but how the ceremony suited us and reflected us as a couple. I described it to Daryl's sister, Lisa over the phone after everything had quieted down. Giving birth to Phoenix last year was special in it's depth of intimacy surrounded by those I love. But, the wedding has been like a wave of warmth crashing over us and overwhelming us in the best way. I surprised myself by tearing up all weekend being moved by so many thoughtful gestures from every direction. I thought I might get weepy during the ceremony, but I had no idea I would be ambushed with love throughout the week and found myself tearing up repeatedly, which is out of character for me. I apologize for sounding so sappy, but if you can’t get a little sappy over your wedding day, it’s never going to happen.

I wanted to create several opportunities for people to join us in addition to the ceremony itself so we might have a chance to catch up during more informal gatherings. Some of the events included the Tea Ceremony and Rehearsal Dinner Friday, the Ceremony and Reception on Saturday and a Rolling Breakfast Sunday. Each event had it’s own personality. I’ll go into lots of detail in each event blog to capture the memories fully so I can savor it just a little longer. We had a chance to spend a little time with everyone and it seemed everyone got along like old friends. People traveled from as far as Washington, DC, some driving from as far as Phoenix and San Francisco. Some left new babies at home, some came with new babies or a car full of kids. All made sacrifices to be with us. Friends from college, high school and even childhood came and I felt like I walked into an episode of This is Your Life. Mom & Victoria came out an entire week early to help me plan. Several ex-brides advised me I try to enjoy the ceremony and reception as it will go by fast. I remember during the ceremony avoiding eye contact with Daryl to help me control my tears. I cannot recall our eyes engaged like that ever unless it was an exchange of love in reference to Phoenix so it certainly overwhelmed me. The words of advice came to mind at that moment and I really tried to take in the Reverend’s words and feel the wind and see the color of the light from the setting sun. I remember someone kicking a ball into the air at that moment in the background on the beach and I thought how special this moment would be, marked in my memory. But, just in case, here it is in writing!

During the Rehearsal Dinner and again at the Sister’s Breakfast, I posed the question, “What is it that one can promise forever before God and peers to solidify a relationship?” We hadn’t yet reviewed the ceremony text and I became concerned that I might be promising something that I did not mean! I became fixated on the thought that there was no single word someone could promise and keep throughout the lifespan of a marriage. The promise had to have flexibility built in to it, not to abuse and eek out of a tight corners, but to grow and change as the couple and the circumstances of the couple might grow and change. I didn’t even feel it was appropriate to promise to Love because love seems the result of other things and not something to be controlled directly. In talking it over, some of the common words were communication, respect and consideration. And, it seems to make sense to promise to put your partner’s needs and wants before your own. But, even that, I started thinking of lots of loopholes. But, it is certainly a good place to start. I’ve never believed the word “compromise” is part of a good relationship because it implies both people are making sacrifices and are somewhat unhappy. I believe there are clever solutions to any given situation and through communication and understanding, a result that is not only mutually tolerable, but mutually beneficial can result. That might not be true, but that is what I believe and that is always how Daryl and I have approached problems, like we do design problems. The results always end up better than either of us could achieve individually. After pondering my question for several days, I think I could promise to strive to always Ask, Listen and Answer and ask the same of him. The act of asking shows caring, listening shows respect and answering shows understanding. And all three insure communication. But, it’s in the questions that Daryl asks of me and the answers that he gives that I have found my love for him. So, I suppose I could promise to do those three little things. And, I promise to extend those signs of caring, respect and understanding to those that are important to Daryl, too.

So, now I stand on the precipice of Happily Ever After and I wonder nervously what comes next because I’m the sort that scoffs at the tidy endings to romantic movies. I suppose I know enough to know it’s not tidy and it’s not an ending. And, I also know it’s not more of the same. Something’s changed. And, I don’t know what that means. I wonder if we say something thoughtless or disrespectful to one another, is that how things are now? Of course not. Just as the Honeymoon only lasts a few days. But, I sense myself releasing a broader range of feelings. Maybe that’s why the tears flowed this weekend. I feel a little emotionally unbound. Now, we belong to one another and I feel the burden and responsibility of holding our future mutually. It is both safe and scary in new ways. And, just as I have taken each preceding step with Daryl, I look forward with giddy anticipation at this next joint venture.

I meant for this blog article to be a little more factual about the events of the weekend, but I guess as it stands it is a record of where my thoughts are right now and it feels right to post it as is. So much more to write, people to thank. I’ll save that for the detailed event blogs. But, for now, know we feel lucky, blessed and loved by one another and all of you! Photos and more detailed articles to follow!

Schedule of Events!

This will be updated nightly as we refine the information.

Hello, All! Wow! The big day is just around the corner! Here is a schedule of events. ***MOST IMPORTANTLY*** please note the shift in Ceremony time to 3PM instead of the original 4PM. I goofed and forgot to account for daylight savings time.

We will be extremely busy until Friday afternoon, so if I’m out of touch or hard to reach, just keep that in mind. If you need to contact us for last minute clarifications, maps, instructions or airport pickups, call the main house line. I plan to leave current schedule hardcopy handouts somewhere near our front door, so if you need information and can’t get to the blog, swing by our apartment. I wanted to give you a complete schedule if you want to try to intersect with us at any point or if you want to lend a hand in helping out.

We'll need help from now on with baby sitting, food prep, airport pickups, errands, and delivery. Call the main line or email your cell # if you want to volunteer at any point. Thanks! Also, feel free to contact me if you need some help locating last minute accommodations. OK, we'll see you soon!

schedule of events

•••WEDNESDAY 11/14•••

ALL DAY MISC Running errands and finishing tons of last minute projects. If you’re around, we could probably use babysitting help.


•••THURSDAY 11/15•••

9:30AM We’ll be at the Farmer’s Market located at Hwy 101 & Mission Ave in Oceanside gathering supplies. Meet us there if you like!

11:30AM PEDICURES! Mai’s Spa. 409 MISSION AVE. Feel free to stop in and treat yourself, too!

1:00PM LUNCH @
Hill Street Cafe
524 S COAST HWY (101)
OCEANSIDE, CA 92054

AFTERNOON PREP The rest of the afternoon will be dedicated to final shopping, food prep and such. Locations to be determined.

EVENING PRE-PARTY We’ll be hanging out at Beth’s condo and/or Victoria’s condo taking advantage of the Hot Tub!


•••FRIDAY 11/16•••

MORNING More last minute food prep

4PM TEA/SAKE CEREMONY hosted by Kim & Jim Kreis by invitation @ our apartment. Please let me know if you might like to attend this quiet, traditional affair as space is limited. It might be interesting for kids? We'd like a volunteer for photographs, if someone is available and interested. We also need someone to help with the Pheonix. We'd like him there with us, but we'll all be distracted.

5PM REHEARSAL DINNER by invitation for parents and bridal party only. We encourage others to explore the harbor area at this time. There are some great restaurants along the south edge of the harbor.
Jolly Roger Restaurant
1900 NORTH HARBOR DR
OCEANSIDE, CA 92054

7:30PM GENERAL MEET & GREET at Beth's Condo and Poker Tourney run by Mr Younis open to all! He’ll be sending a separate email with details. We hope everyone can stop by and relax a bit before the big day. Bring a swimsuit and enjoy the hot tub, too!


•••SATURDAY 11/17•••

I’ve asked Andrea Toomey to be my designated Surrogate Mommy for the day, so please speak with her if you want some Phoenix love that day. She will have all info on his needs and whereabouts.

9:30AM SISTER'S BREAKFAST by invitation hosted by Beth Diner for my sisters and new sisters @ Beth’s condo

2:30PM SETUP If you’d like to help out with setup, you can be at the gazebo and the Wedding Planner, Denise can instruct you on how to help.

3:00PM CEREMONY (Please note this new time) begins at the gazebo located at 100 SOUTH THE STRAND, OCEANSIDE, CA. We're working out the start time with the reverend, so this may slide a little later, but we can use the time to gather ahead of time, set up, take photos and enjoy the sunshine.

3:30PM PHOTOS & RECEPTION to follow at this same location.

5:30PM LIGHTING FARALITOS

EVENING FIRESIDE S'MORES If weather permits, we might try to enjoy the firepits on the beach near the pier. If not, we’ll head back to Beth’s Condo.


•••SUNDAY 11/18•••

9AM-12PM ROLLING BREAKFAST confirmed at Victoria’s condo. Open to all! This will be a chance for us to have more time to talk with people in a relaxed atmosphere. Please stop in and say goodbye at your convenience.


•••MONDAY 11/19-WEDNESDAY 11/21•••

HONEYMOONING in a B&B at Julian, CA! Do not disturb unless your name is Donna or Ken Anderson (they have our baby!)


•••THURSDAY 11/22•••

ALL DAY If you’re still in town, let us know. We plan to do some pre-fab Thanksgiving thing and you’re welcome to join us!

Important Contact Information

main house line 760-529-5887
daryl’s phone 703-475-2438
my phone is missing in action, so don’t call it, but email is: sly@twilightstudio.com
wedding planner: Denise Robles (619) 987-9921

Our Apartment
821 1/2 S TREMONT ST
OCEANSIDE, CA 92054
--It’s a commercial bld, but we have an apt on the second floor. Ours is the purple door to the right. Generally, we’re not planning to hold anything here, but you know you can come here if you’re trying to track us down.

Beth’s Condo
1023 A S. PACIFIC
OCEANSIDE, CA
--My Matron of Honor found a great multi-unit place that we will use as the gathering place in between events.

Victoria’s Condo
UNIT 102
121 SOUTH PACIFIC ST
OCEANSIDE, CA 92054
—My Big Sister rented a condo near the Ceremony location that we’ll use as a support location to the ceremony and a secondary gathering space.

Rooms available for rent!

Beth is looking into renting an extra large unit to serve as a meeting hub. She found an excellent deal on this place that is right on the beach and parallel to our apartment. I think she has three rooms available for $300 each (for up to three nights--that's $100/night!). Each room has a king bed and an additional bunk of some sort. Please contact us ASAP if you are interested. email bethdiner@hotmail.com.

Also, if you plan to fly in please send me your arrival and departure times as well as airport. I'll try to coordinate with other flyers to consolidate airport runs.

Frequently Asked Questions and Other Info

First, we made a boo boo. I did not account for daylight savings in setting the time for the ceremony. At present, a 4pm ceremony only gives us about an hour of light. We would like to move the ceremony up to 3pm. I will send out a final announcement on Monday with a complete schedule of events, but please let me know in hte meantime if there is a conflict in moving the start time.

I thought I'd answer a few questions that seem to be lingering.

What should I wear? Cocktail attire is great for those invited to the rehearsal dinner. It is a mid range restaurant with no dress code that I'm aware of .

The Ceremony and Rehearsal will be held next to the beach, but it is a paved and covered area. It is always breezy by the water and the tempurature has been colder than average by about 15 degrees. We're hoping for an indian summer, but suggest you plan to have a jacket. I would just plan to layer. I will be in a fairly formal gown. Daryl won't be wearing a tux or jacket. I believe my Dad plans on wearing a suit. Suits and ties not necessary. Heels are fine since the area is paved. We'll have a couple of heat lamps as well. And, don't forget your swimsuits/wetsuits if you're going to brave a dip!

What should I bring? We are just happy to have this amazing turnout! Currently we expect 60 people. You can refer to the Registry Info article for more information.

How can I help? Let me know when you will be in town and make sure I have a way to reach you and I promise I will give you some assignments. We've got lots of little projects planned for the week that we could use some help getting wrapped up. There will be lots of last minute stuff, too.

Is it OK to bring my children? Yes! We would love to see as much of your family as you can bring! We understand how much expense and coordination it takes to get the whole family out, so we don't expect everyone to show up with their posse, but children are invited to participate in all aspects of our event. We will probably ask for some volunteer babysitters at different points to keep an eye on the little ones when needed, so be sure you'll have some help. We have a lot of experienced & loving arms expected.

If you haven't done so yet, please RSVP, especially if you are a YES. I think we can guess the rest of the replies as "REGRETS," but I'd like to have a fairly solid headcount to start planning out the food and rental situation.

OK, let me know if there is anything else I can answer. I'll post a complete schedule of events on Monday. Please refer to the website for any last minute changes or additions to the schedule. It's getting close!

RSVP correction!

Well, I was really happy with the final design of the invitations, and everybody should have gotten theirs by now, but I did overlook one thing. I forgot to place the return address labels on the return postcards! So, that means when I get one of your cutely decorated postcards in the mail, I have no idea who it's from. So, if you are returning the cards (which have been so fun to receive, by the way), please indicate who it is from somewhere on the card. I got one adorned with a gingerbread man/top hat man & a lady/witch. If that sounds familiar, let me know who you are. We've tried to use deductive reasoning, but we know no gingy/sorceress couples.

The planning is well underway and I will soon be enlisting many of you to "volunteer" for different preparation tasks. I'll also be outlining a timeline of events. We're all getting really excited & it's looking to be a fun weekend.